Is it a sin for a committed Christian to date a non-believer? What if the non-Christian is a great person and supportive of the Christian’s faith and church attendance? In those circumstances, can the Christian continue in the relationship, praying that God will lead their boyfriend or girlfriend to faith in Christ?
These are really practical questions that come up often. People say, “Hey, I’m single and want to be with somebody. I haven’t found someone in the church yet, but I did find this person outside of the church who seems to respect my beliefs. They’re not trying to pull me away from God. And they check every other box. I’m attracted to them. They have a great personality, a great job, and a great family. They believe in a higher power. They just don’t profess faith in Jesus Christ.”
Even if the person you’ve found seems great, don’t involve yourself in a romantic relationship with a non-Christian. As Christians, we need to be with someone who shares our love for the Lord and his word.
Throughout the Old Testament, God tells his people over and over again not to intermarry with the people of the land. Why? Because he knew their hearts would be drawn away from the true worship of Yahweh by unbelieving spouses. Under the New Covenant, we’re called to pursue relationships with and marry those who are in the Lord. That isn’t just somebody who was baptized or said a prayer many years ago but doesn’t go to church or believe the gospel. No, Christians need to be with someone who has a vital relationship with Jesus Christ, is a baptized member of a local church, and prioritizes the worship of God.
Don’t settle for less than that.
Any time the apostle Paul talks about Christian marriage, he says it must be “in the Lord.” Paul writes, “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:39). In the same letter he says, “Do we not have the right to eat and drink? Do we not have the right to take along a believing wife, as do the other apostles and the brothers of the Lord and Cephas?” (1 Cor. 9:4). Christians need a believing spouse.
So, you can cultivate a friendship and pray that the Lord would bring the non-believer you’re interested in to faith in Christ. But don’t begin a romantic relationship if this person doesn’t share your faith.
This article is part of our Frequently Asked Questions series. Listen to Pastor Adriel answer this question on Core Radio here.
Dig deeper with these free resources from Core Christianity:
CORE QUESTIONS
How Can I Share My Faith?, How Does Jesus Work Today?
Core Guides
7 Things You Need to Know About Marriage and Sex
