This requires a lot of wisdom. I understand that you want to keep the door open. You want to be able to talk about Jesus, to share the gospel with your loved one and still love them while not condoning sinful behavior or giving a stamp of approval. And you know, we go to weddings as witnesses to celebrate—to participate, if you will. It’s a complex issue. I wonder if there’s a way of communicating to this family member and saying, “Hey, this makes me uncomfortable for these reasons. I love you, man, I love you so much. But this is not something that I can support.” And maybe they say, “Well then don’t come,” or maybe they say, “Look, I understand. I’d still like for you to be there even though I know that you’re not giving a stamp of approval to this. Even though I know that you’re not supporting this marriage.”
I think there are a couple of different ways of looking at it. If, potentially, you can have that conversation and you can be honest about where you’re at—if you can share how you love your family member, how you want to be a part of his life, and not shut that door and continue to have conversations and be in one another’s homes, and they’re open to that, then I would say maybe maybe you can attend. But you’ve made it really clear about where you stand on this issue. But if that’s not the case, if you just realize, “You know, being there is in one sense supporting this. And I don’t want to go as a witness and give a stamp of approval.” Then maybe you have another conversation with him and say, “I don’t think that this is something that I can do because of my faith.”
That’s where you have to exercise wisdom and you need to have some conversations. The apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 5, when it comes to those who don’t confess the faith, who aren’t believers, we’re not called to judge them. God judges them.
Now, if this person is saying, “I’m a Christian, and everything’s fine,” well, then I would say no. I think you do have to make a judgement there and say, “No, I can’t be a part of this, because not only are you doing something I disagree with, you’re doing something against your very own confession that you claim to believe.”
But if this person doesn’t claim faith, isn’t a part of the church, and doesn’t claim to be a Christian, it could be that there’s an open door here for you to continue to have a strong relationship and to be able to share the gospel and the love of Christ with him and his partner.
May God give you wisdom and grace, and may God open this person’s heart to the gospel.
This article is part of our Frequently Asked Questions series. You can listen to Pastor Adriel answer this question on Core Radio here.
