FAQ: What Should We Do When We Have Conflicts in the Church?

Many things can cause conflict in a church. If you’ve been hurt by your church, should you keep going there?

If it’s just a disagreement related to how to do things, it’s important for us to be clear and honest with each other. And so the only way forward is to be honest and say, “Hey, this is how I was made to feel.” Maybe those who hurt you had some valid reasons to disagree with you. Maybe they didn’t. But you don’t want to just be there growing in bitterness and frustration. You should seek open and honest conversations.

Jesus calls us to go to a brother or sister to make peace when we have something with him or her (Matt. 18:15). And this is one of the great implications of the gospel. God reached down to those who had sinned against him—his enemies— and reconciled them to himself through the blood of his Son, Jesus. If God could make peace with us, then we ought to pursue peace with other, especially within the body of Christ.

You don’t want to be in a situation where you’re trying to grow in Christ and your understanding of God’s word while you have things against the very people that you’re worshiping with. You don’t want to be receiving the means of grace—God’s word and the sacraments—from leaders you’re bitter toward.

So talk with those who have hurt you. Pray that the Lord would bring peace and grace. Through a true desire for peace, and gratitude to God for his grace to us in the gospel, the Holy Spirit can restore relationships. He can even, in this way, make our relationships better and stronger than they were before.

This article is part of our Frequently Asked Questions series. Listen to Pastor Adriel answer this question on Core Radio here.

Dig deeper with these free resources from Core Christianity:

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Adriel Sanchez

Adriel Sanchez is pastor of North Park Presbyterian Church, a congregation in the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA). In addition to his pastoral responsibilities, he also serves the broader church as a host on the Core Christianity radio program, a live, daily call-in talk show where he answers listeners' questions about the Bible and the Christian faith. He and his wife Ysabel live in San Diego with their five children.