This is part of an ongoing series on the Ten Commandments. God’s word reveals to us the laws he requires for living in the world as he has ordered it, and only by living according to this law are we able to flourish and enjoy our creational purpose: to glorify God and enjoy him. This series explores how Christians, whose identity is in Christ and whose inheritance is stored in eternity, should live under and live out the Ten Commandments.
“You shall not commit adultery.”— Exodus 20:14
Our culture spins stories of adultery into tales of love. In many movies and books, consumers are tempted to feel sorry for those pursuing forbidden love. We’re discipled to make excuses for the characters on the screen or among the pages. And if we’re willing to do so for a fictional person, what’s to say we won’t for someone in our real life, or maybe even ourselves?
Many were shocked when reading Elisabeth Elliot’s journal entries in the biography, Being Elisabeth Elliot. One entry revealed an affair with a professor who would become her second husband. While Addison Leitch’s wife Margaret was dying of cancer, he was secretly wooing Elisabeth and kissing her in her hotel room. Every one of us knows of a Christian marriage that has been affected by adultery. Christians aren’t exempt from being lured into this sin.
Forbidden Fruit
Adultery is one of the greatest forms of betrayal. If the Seventh Commandment wasn’t enough to prove how serious God considers this sin, he provides more (Exod. 20:14). Under the Mosaic law, those who committed adultery were stoned (Lev. 20:10; Deut. 22:22). In the Old Testament, God often used adultery as an illustration of idolatry. As Israel abandoned their Creator for false gods, the one true God declared:
Have you seen what she did, that faithless one, Israel, how she went up on every high hill and under every green tree, and there played the whore?— Jeremiah 3:6
We, too, chase after other things to satisfy us.
And isn’t this the heart of adultery? When a husband or wife pursues an affair, they seek satisfaction where destruction is promised. Proverbs 6 warns us, “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself” (v. 32). Any fleeting moment of pleasure in forbidden fruit will eventually turn our stomachs with the sourness of bile.
While there are levels of betrayal, the heart of the matter remains the same. A person who commits adultery, whether through watching porn, having an emotional affair, or sleeping with someone else, is living by the flesh and allowing their sinful passions to rule them (Gal. 5:16). In one fell swoop they are breaking two covenants—their covenant with their spouse and their covenant with God. Praise the Lord that, as he did with Abraham (Gen. 15), God is the one who initiated and completed our covenant with him through his Son and nothing can separate us from him (Rom. 8:31–39). But we can harm our communion with God by feasting on sin rather than the Bread of Life he has provided.
Safeguards like Covenant Eyes and accountability partners can be helpful, but only go so far. What we need is a desire to love and obey our creator that outweighs our desire for sin. We need passion for pure and holy living—not just on the outside, but inwardly.
Adultery’s Root
Jesus said that even looking at someone with lust is adultery of the heart (Matt. 5:28). Why? Because God has called us to be holy as he is holy (1 Pet. 1:16). This includes not only our outward actions but what we dwell on in our minds. Sexual immorality is rooted in the heart: “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander” (Matt. 15:19). We are defiled first and foremost by the sin in our hearts, not only the blood on our hands.
In 1 Corinthians 6, Paul warns the church about the destruction of sexual sin (vs. 12–20). Because we are members of Christ, whose Spirit lives in us, partaking in sin brings Christ into that sin with us (v. 15). This includes lustful thoughts. God is serious about sexual sin—he says to flee from it (v. 18). Run away as if you’re being chased by someone with fatal intentions.
We must also seek to renew our minds every day by pursuing communion with God through his Word and through prayer (Rom. 12:2). Our hearts need to be saturated with the truth. This is how the Lord crowds out any darkness hidden in the crevices of our hearts with his overcoming light (John 1:4–5).
Faithful to God, Faithful to Your Spouse
Early in our marriage, a woman in a string bikini was on TV. My husband shielded his eyes and I thanked him. I’ll never forget what he said: “I’m not just doing this for you.” His motivation for purity and faithfulness to our covenant went beyond me. He longed to glorify God in both his body and his mind.
Our motivation for purity is key. If I am only faithful because I love my husband, what happens if that love fades? What will I do if my attraction wavers and I’m presented with another choice? But if my desire is to be faithful to God, my first love, then I will be better able to withstand temptation (Rev. 2:4). If I remind myself daily that I am the temple of the Holy Spirit—that I am not my own, but was bought with a price—then I will be equipped to glorify God in my body, by the power of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19–20).
Maybe we are too lax on the sin of adultery because we are too unmoved by the love of God. Let us pray that God would quicken us to repent of all kinds of sexual immorality, that we would no longer grieve the Holy Spirit (Eph. 4:30). May we fix our eyes on Jesus. When our heart’s deepest desire is to be faithful to him, that faithfulness will trickle down into our marriages.
Footnotes
Ellen Vaughn. 2023. Being Elisabeth Elliot: The Authorized Biography: Elisabeth’s Later Years. B&H Books, 104. From her journal entries, we learn that she is pursued and kissed by Addison while his wife is still alive. She does not say that the affair went further than that. But according to the definition of scripture, this is still adultery.
