My wife, my kids, and I were on our feet—shouting, jumping, cheering like crazy—as Iowa State fan favorite Tamin Lipsey splashed a clutch three-pointer with 15 seconds left to tie the game. For a moment, it felt like pure joy. Then, just 15 seconds later, we were all equally devastated as Arizona hit an impossible shot at the buzzer. ABC’s Wide World of Sports anchor Jim McKay’s famous refrain captured our emotions, “The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.” This scenario has played out in living rooms across the country with families rooting for all varieties of teams across the spectrum of sports. But here is the crazy part: every one of my four kids, ages 5–12, has lived their entire lives in San Diego, CA.
Intellectually and logically, it makes no sense for my kids to be such huge fans of the Iowa State Cyclones. The small town of Ames, Iowa, is half a country away from coastal southern California. The Cyclones have never won a national title and haven’t even made the Final Four since 1944. If my kids had decided to cheer for a team that at least had the highest probability of winning a championship at some point in their childhood, maybe they could have experienced a little more “thrill of victory” and a little less “agony of defeat.” My kids love the Iowa State Cyclones because my wife and I love the Cyclones, and we invite them into that joy.
In our culture, we often treat the church’s worship service like a modern classroom—focused more on transferring information than forming the heart. Yes, we sing and follow a liturgy, but we tend to see the sermon as the “main event,” where real learning happens. That mindset shapes a common concern about having kids in the worship gathering: they “don’t get anything from” or “understand” the sermon. So the reasoning goes: shouldn’t they be in children’s church where teaching is tailored to their level? The heart behind this sentiment is well intentioned; we want our kids to hear and understand the gospel. However, corporate worship is much more than information transfer.
Our kids have hearts with real desires, and they will worship what they love. They often do this before they fully understand because they often love what the people around them love. Their hearts are being formed in the worship gathering in ways that cannot even be fully fathomed as they are invited into the shared joy of worshipping Jesus.
Worship Is Taught and Caught
None of our kids play organized basketball. They don’t know all the rules. They don’t know the ins and outs of Iowa State basketball or the history that has gone before them. However, when the game is on, I don’t send them out of the room to get an age-appropriate lesson on basketball or a history lesson on why we cheer for them over all the other teams in college basketball. No! Instead, we invite them into our shared experience because they are part of the family. They see us cheering and so they follow suit. Our 5-year-old grabs a basketball and starts bouncing it all over the living room, imitating the players on the screen. Our kids ask questions, and it gives me the opportunity to explain the game or talk about a particular player’s strengths or weaknesses. Our shared love leads to greater understanding over time, but we don’t wait for them to fully understand to include them.
Of course, this means that parents and the church family must truly love and enjoy Jesus while loving and enjoying the kids in their midst! Kids can sense hypocrites a mile away. Part of the reason my kids are huge Cyclone fans is because I am truly a fan, and I truly love them, so they want to love what I love. However, I have another pastor friend who had a very rocky relationship with his father, and as a child, he decided to cheer for a different team to “stick it to his dad.” Let this encourage parents to genuinely strive for a relationship with Jesus in which love, joy, and excitement for worship are present. If you do not look forward to going to gathering to worship the Lord, then it is likely your kids will pick up on that as well.
Ultimately, only the Holy Spirit can change our kids’ hearts to know, love, and trust in Jesus alone for salvation, but God uses ordinary means of grace to draw us to himself. These means of grace are present in the gathering of God’s people for worship. If you value worship and invite your kids into that, then certainly the Holy Spirit can use these means to form your child’s heart. Whether they fully understand or not, their hearts are formed by the weekly rhythms of being included in something bigger than themselves, in gathering to hear from God who is adored and worshipped, and in shared joy among the family of God. In worship, we come into the presence of the living God, and we get to invite our kids into that amazing reality!
Pass on the Faith
The apostle Paul celebrated Timothy’s sincere faith. However, Timothy’s faith didn’t begin with him. It was “a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice” (2 Tim. 1:5). No doubt it was a faith that had origins long before Timothy had the ability to understand everything that he was being taught, but he “caught” his mother’s and grandmother’s genuine love for Jesus. Just because Timothy’s faith was caught doesn’t mean it was somehow less sincere. Understanding came with time and with lived-in relationship with the God he loved. Isn’t that true for all of us?
In an evangelical culture that has largely siloed people in the church based on their various age groups and often removed kids from the worship service “to give them a lesson they can understand,” we ought to challenge ourselves to think differently about the spiritual formation of our kids. Love and worship are often caught more than taught, especially amongst our youngest family members. Furthermore, don’t underestimate the ability of kids’ sponge brains to pick up more than we give them credit for as they ask questions and try to figure out why we love the God we worship. Timothy watched his mother and grandmother navigate the ups and downs of life by faith, and he followed suit as he was invited into their shared joy. Let’s be a people who “let the little children come to [Jesus], and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 19:14)!
