Have you found yourself in a circle of friends all sharing embarrassing stories? We can all probably think of harmless anecdotes that produce a few chuckles, but if we take the term “embarrassment” to the fullest extent, they probably wouldn’t be laughable. To be truly embarrassed, we would find ourselves in a state of "self-conscious distress.” Distress is a fairly strong word that portrays actual pain, and typically, the funny story of tripping over a chair or spitting out our water doesn’t lead to “distress” per se. Instead, the stories that come to mind for this type of vocabulary, unfortunately, tend to involve sin—either our own or others against us. These stories aren’t particularly a joy to revisit, and some probably better belong in a confession group. I have certainly found myself distressed from remembering a past event and begged God to take away the memory.
As we enter the New Year, this desperate desire to forget, move on, erase, or make up for these embarrassments is natural. Something about the turn of the year and the old adage “New Year, New You” makes me wonder who out there is longing to be “new.”
What are we chasing?
Typically, the New Year arouses a desire for new habits, routines, and goals, and we hope that along with these life changes, we ourselves change. But live long enough, and we understand at an intrinsic level that though helpful, sometimes encouraging, or even enlightening, none of these life changes accomplish what we’re truly chasing.
What we all long for most is a sense of being known and loved. Afterall, we were designed by a Creator for an eternal relationship with him. When sin entered the world, that relationship was severed, and we were cast out of his presence. Image bearers will never feel quite at peace until we are restored to the Father. It is only through salvation that we regain the security of a covenantal relationship with our Creator.
Unfortunately, sin causes us to chase anything and everything this world offers as a substitute for God’s love. An old article from Forbes by Kathy Kaprino identified eight things people “desperately desire but can’t seem to attain,” and some mentioned are happiness, freedom, peace, and joy. What struck me about the article is that in each category the author rightly acknowledges a person's inability to know what one needs to do or have to fill their lack, and thus exists a ferris wheel of failure. What the author neglects to acknowledge is the effects of sin in the world and on us. The reality is that shame and embarrassment can only exist in a world where sin exists. The world cannot produce true happiness because unadulterated contentment exists in the promises of God (Philippians 4:11–13). The world cannot experience true freedom because we are either enslaved in our sin or exiles in a sinful world (1 Peter 2:11). The world cannot capture pure joy because fullness of joy is found in Christ (Psalm 16:11). We enter shame and embarrassment in the moments we experience our inability to attain these realities on our own. Whether these moments are simple mistakes and failures, our sin, or the sin of others, the consequence is ultimately a longing for the erasure of sin—a desperate cry of the heart, “I just want to fix this.”
Embarrassed to Secured
Where are we to turn if we can’t escape the mark of embarrassment? Where can we hide when shame is standing at the door? The New Year, with new goals, new rhythms, or a new mindset, cannot erase, soothe, or overcome what sin wrought. The only true hope in a state of self-conscious distress is a newness that doesn’t come from us, but from God. Thankfully, God is in the business of making all things new (Rev. 21:5).
Paul encourages the Corinthians in his second letter, saying that “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2 Cor. 5:17).
At a time of year that promises all sorts of personal and physical change, it’s quite astonishing to realize the greatest and most radical change possible is one regarding the soul—and can only be accomplished by the grace and power of God.
When we find ourselves in a state of distress, longing to no longer be associated with whatever mistakes we’ve made, we can look at our eternal renewal and find comfort. For our identity in the Lord cannot and will not ever falter. Though consequences still may exist, the security of our souls and who we are in Christ are far more powerful than our worldly identities.
Ultimately, embarrassment exists purely because we can and do fail ourselves and others—and ultimately God. I’m embarrassed by my actions, my thoughts, and my words because they all fall short of the glory of God and can cause great harm. But in Christ I have forgiveness, I have renewal, and I have security. It may be another new year, but I am already made new and forever in a state of newness—praise God.
