I know is an awkward question, but let me explain. The institution of marriage is under attack from countless directions, but one of the more potent attacks comes from polyamory (the love of multiple people). There are two common forms of polyamory: “Swinging,” or the sharing of partners, and open marriages, which enable one or both spouses to engage in sexual relationships outside the marriage.
If you haven’t seen these arrangements yet, they are coming soon to a theater near you. They represent the combination of numerous trends—the primacy of sexual expression, the pornification of sexuality, and the breakdown of the family, to name a few. And because all these trends are part of the cultural air we breathe, we are more susceptible to their pernicious effects. Here’s why Christians should not have open marriages:
1) God forbids adultery.
Common sense, right? It’s one of the Ten Commandments. But law-keeping is not easy for lawless hearts. As one hymn rightly puts it, “Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love.” Satan has tempted human hearts to doubt God and his commands since the Garden of Eden, and this temptation comes in subtle forms. “My spouse has consented.” “It’s just my body.” “It’s better than a divorce.”
Thou shalt not (Exod. 20:14). Our God is a consuming fire (Heb. 12:29). His law is not arbitrary. He doesn’t play the games that modern culture plays with morality and ethics. If you offer up your body or that of your spouse to another, it is essentially and unequivocally an act of rebellion against God.
2) It destroys human love.
The law of God can be summed up like this: “Love the Lord your God . . . and love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 22:27–40). Polyamory requires the law of modern man—that you consent. You determine what the law is, making you God. You determine what love is, meaning that love is no longer something you revere, but something you establish by your own accord. It’s an easy way to diminish both truth and beauty in one fell swoop.
As a practical point, monogamous marriage highlights your value as God’s image-bearer. You, as a son or daughter of the king, are worthy of the exclusive love of your spouse. You—body and soul—are not an object to be distributed on the open market. The Lord has deemed you a worthy object of sacrifice, and your spouse as well (see Eph. 5:22–33). Your life, love, and body are not measured by mere consent.
3) It blinds us to the hope of God’s love.
Before all of time began, you were loved with an everlasting love (Eph. 1:4–6). In this wayward world, we all have wayward hearts that are easily bought and sold. Yet God inspired a whole book of the Bible (Hosea) to show his love for his wayward bride. You don’t have to prove your beauty—he has established your beauty in Christ, who has adorned you in his perfect righteousness (2 Cor. 5:21).
He not only breathed life into you as his creation but has breathed in you new life as his new creation (2 Cor. 5:17). You are so valuable in the sight of your God that you were bought at the price of Christ’s blood (1 Cor. 6:20). If this is so, don’t sell yourself cheaply. Honor your marriage
